Unnatural Strength

The things I need help with are rarely monumental tasks. It is the everyday chores and commitments that get overwhelming for me. Yesterday morning I went on a 9 mile run. I came home sore and tired but it felt good. Then I went to my mother's house to help her with some chores that are getting more and more difficult for her.

By the time I got home, all my body wanted to do was sit. I knew I had the strength to wash last night's dishes and make dinner but there was no desire within me to do it. I prayed, "God, if You can build within me the endurance to run 9 miles in a shot, then I know You can help me to take care of my house. Help me to do what I need to do." Within five minutes I was humming away, washing dishes, cutting meat, prepping potatoes and even made a salad. When the last plate was set on the table I flopped down, winded and tired.

It was in that moment I remembered a promise: God gives us enough strength for today. That was exactly what He gave me. Enough strength to do what I needed to do, along with a desire to do it. Washing dishes and making dinner may not seem like supernatural strength to you, but there are days when it takes an act of God to get me moving. Thankfully, all I need to do to tap into that strength is pray.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

What's in the Cup

Yesterday, Pastor reminded us about 'the cup of milk' analogy. When you hold a cup of milk and someone bumps you, milk comes out. Really deep, I know. The deeper meaning behind it is we only think we know what our cups hold. When life bumps you, what comes out? Anger? Depression? Hopelessness? Cursing? Drinking? When life is overwhelming or when things go in the complete opposite direction you were hoping, what comes out of your cup?

Most people believe their cup is full of patience and understanding. And then when harsh words slip out of their mouth, or harsh actions fall from their hands, the response is usually, "Sorry, I'm having a bad day." The harsh words and actions are what reside in the cup. When bad days happen, the thoughts and actions that come out pour straight from the cup.

That sermon reminded me that I still have anger in my cup. When life presses hard, I snap back at it. But the proper response to stress is rarely anger. Thankfully, I serve a loving and compassionate God who can help guide me to what should be in my cup.

"Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:9-10

Put Down the Gun

Last night in Wednesday night church class I was trying to describe what trusting God looks like and why trusting Him is a good thing. I gave the example of how when I first tried trusting God it was the spiritual equivalent of staring down the barrel of an armed stranger who was telling me, "I promise I won't shoot you, now put your gun down."

Trusting my father in heaven was a difficult thing for me to want to achieve for many years. So many people had broken my trust to such devastating levels that I didn't dare trust the maker of heaven and earth. If mortal people could cause the kind of damage I suffered, what could an all-powerful being be capable of causing me? The answer was one I did not expect. God provided me with a perpetual feeling of safety. When I wholeheartedly trust Him, even when things don't make sense, I am blessed with a sense of security no person could ever provide.

Yes, trusting God can be scary at times. But as I keep pushing through the trials of my life, He proves Himself worthy of my trust every time.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

For Better or Worse

How many people have stood before a large congregation stating a vow that begins, "For better or for worse," but what they really mean is, "As long as this is still fun"? The fairy tale of happily ever after is sold to people all over the world as the closing scene of a movie. The problem is the movie ends before the real story begins. Real stories include disagreements of which way the toilet paper comes off the rolls, who is going to wash those dishes, when should we starting having kids (what? you want kids?)

My great grandmother told me, "Happily ever after isn't a fairy tale, it's a full time job." And it truly is. Making a marriage great doesn't come naturally. Learning to be happy with someone through every stage of their life doesn't come naturally. The only part that comes naturally is the initial physical attraction, the rest has to be worked at everyday. Everyday I choose to put my husband above all other people in my life. Some people are offended by this, and few have felt slighted or hurt, but it is necessary if our marriage is going to survive the trying times ahead.

In the beginning of a relationship, everyone gives their significant other the best of their energy and attention. Which is why they end up falling in love. Often, after the marriage vows are said, we stop putting that effort into the other person and the result is falling out of love. Ironic how the thing we most need to do to be happy is usually the thing we assume will make us miserable... but remember how much fun dating was when the relationship was new? Believe it or not it can get back to that point again if you're willing to act like that again.

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth." Proverbs 5:18

Using Ashes for Soil

A fire raged through my family two weeks ago. The kind of fire where you stand looking at the charred timbers and wonder, "How could something like this happen to people like us?" Good and bad events are not discriminating. Regardless of how you live your life, both good and bad things will happen to you.

In the immediate days after receiving the news of this fire, I marveled as I watched God churn the ashes into the hard ground beneath to cultivate a fertile soil. The smell of smoke was carried away as the days marched on. Seeds were planted in the new soil and a harvest of healing began to grow. People in my life whom I prayed for years to reconcile their differences are now speaking to each other in positive tones. Once violent responses to each other has been replaced with understanding and love. Funny how when people have no choice but to lean on each other for support finally realize: Hey, being in the same room with you isn't as bad as I remembered it used to be.

God knows what He's doing. He allowed this painful fire to rage through the securities of our family because He knew the aftermath it would produce. As I look back on the last two weeks, I never would have guessed a day like that could lead to a day like this... when sunshine is brightening through the dark abandoned hopes of the past.

"I called on your name, O LORD, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: 'Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.' You came near when I called you, and you said, 'Do not fear.'" Lamentations 3:55-57

But I Like My Rut

Resisting healthy change is like resisting a healthy diet, I know it will give me everything I want but I don't want to do the work to get it. I want to have more energy, but I don't want to get off my butt. I want to feel healthy, but I don't want to give up all my bad habits.

In real life, there is no sitting on the fence. Refusing to make a choice is making a choice. It's choosing to do the same thing as I've always done. Albert Einstein once said, "If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got." Making the same choices, living the same lifestyle, while expecting things to get better makes as much sense as hitting my head against a brick wall while expecting it to stop hurting 'this time'. And why do we do this to ourselves? Because we have fear. If living like this hurts this much, how much more would it hurt to do something different? But it is exactly that fear that keeps us from experiencing peace. The peace of resolving conflict. The peace of having an unending hope. The peace of finding new joys in the relationships we have with others.

The Bible has many examples of people who dared to ask God to show them their flaws. My own experience with this was quite painful when the list was first shone to me. But, as I have worked at that list, I have received what I think is the most sought-after peace of all: Being able to fall asleep at night without the tape recorder of 'remember this? remember that?' playing over and over again in my head.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

It's Going to Get Easier, Right?

I am close to a yet another set of grandparents now raising their grandchildren. (For some reason this is becoming more and more common) While visiting the newest members to this club, the grandpa pulled his new toddler from a potential disaster and said, "It gets easier as they get older, right?" All I could do was laugh.

God gave me a realization a year ago that carries me through the bizarre ups and downs of my life: Stop waiting for it to get easier. For some reason, I get stuck on trying to find some path in life that, once I'm on it, life will finally get easy. The futile search of 'maybe this' or 'maybe that' is as exhausting as it is disappointing. Instead of praying for a lighter load in life I've learned to pray for a stronger back. Life never gets easier. But if we are willing to learn the lesson each situation brings us, the level of stress we can handle goes up. And as our ability to handle stress increases we become more aware of the joys in everyday life.

My great-grandmother said, "We thank the Lord for dirty dishes because they have a tale to tell. While others tonight will go without, we are doing rather well." I am thankful for dirty dishes because it means that I ate today. I am thankful to pay repairs for my car, because at least I have a car that needs fixing. And I am thankful for the many people in life who challenge me in my patience, because at least I have people in my life.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is streadfast, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3